


LOVE FEVER

by PsychedelicatePoltergeist



Series: Lessons In Strength, Friendship and Love [23]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Internalized Homophobia, Introspection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 02:40:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19264285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsychedelicatePoltergeist/pseuds/PsychedelicatePoltergeist
Summary: Fuyuhiko's love for Kazuichi is a poison that is slowly but surely going to kill him.





	LOVE FEVER

**Author's Note:**

> This is a quick piece of experimental writing. I'm not sure if I'll continue to use this particular writing style in the future, but this was a fun little experiment regardless, and I hope you enjoy it.

I should’ve fucking known that Kazuichi would be so much trouble for me.

Things between us were okay at first. We started getting along a lot better after I made the decision to reveal my relation to Peko to the class and started to cut loose a little. I’d always thought that he was annoying as fuck - okay, nah, that’s never really changed - but, well, I guess I had to cave in when he really started getting all buddy-buddy with me. When anyone else in the class kissed my ass, it felt forced, like they were only doing it out of obligation. But when Kazuichi did it, somehow I knew that he was genuine.

And so I made the mistake of letting him into my life.

Life was good for awhile. I wasn’t ready to admit it at the time, but it was nice to have a friend for once. We started hanging out a lot in our spare time - watching movies, playing video games, studying together, the usual. I even took him home with me for a sleepover at the beginning of spring break (although he went home in the middle of the night - sleeping in the same house as a bunch of gangsters freaked him out.) I felt a lot less lonely. I thought I’d finally found what was missing in my life this entire time.

Then I realised that I’d fallen into a trap, that he’d injected me with poison that was slowly but surely going to kill me.

Unsolicited feelings of - fuck, it pains me to say it -  _ love  _ began to tear me apart. I felt things I was never allowed to feel towards another guy. I wanted to do things with him that were beyond platonic. I guiltily fantasised about life with him as my boyfriend, in a world where no one gave a fuck if a yakuza and his best guy friend were in love. And later, as the poison’s symptoms really started to show, he occasionally made appearances in my dreams. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, most of those dreams were… well… ugh, it disgusts me just fucking thinking about it.

I hate myself enough as it is. I hate that I look like a six-year-old playing dress-up. I hate how attached I am to Peko, no matter how hard I try to distance from her without hurting her feelings. I hate that nobody in the clan takes me seriously. And I know for a fact that if they ever find out about the poison that’s ravaging my body, they’re not gonna want anything to do with me anymore.

They say that you should hate the disease, not the diseased, but how can you do that when it’s your own damn fault that you’ve got the disease? I might as well have picked up a bottle with a skull and crossbones on the label and gulped down all the contents. I could've easily avoided this. I could've just brushed him off and ignored his advances, keeping up my cold, distant, I-don't-want-anything-to-do-with-anyone façade. But nope, of course I had to take the poisoned apple, thinking he was doing me a favour, and bite into it. Of course I had to let my fucking guard down. I’ve made a mistake, and now I gotta pay the price for it.

I can’t afford to lose myself. I gotta find a cure, and fast. My life is on the line. If I let this go on any longer, I’ll lose it all. I can’t just let my life rot away like this.

And there’s only one cure for my disease.

I tell Kazuichi that we can’t be friends anymore. I don’t say why. He pleads with me, urges me to explain, but I keep my lips sealed. Telling anyone about the disease will lead to my downfall, no matter what. He looks at me with so much hurt in his eyes that, for just a second, I consider relenting, but I quickly realise that that’s just the poison talking. He finally gives up after a couple of minutes, turns on his heel and rushes out of my dorm, slamming the door behind him.

Well, it doesn’t take a genius to realise that something’s gone horribly wrong. The mental image of his agonised expression persists. It won’t leave me alone. I have to stop myself from physically running after him to apologise and make amends. My chest feels tight, and the room starts to spin. I’m now struggling to stay upright. Fuck, now I’m struggling to breathe.

I haven’t been cured. If anything, the disease has gotten worse.

It takes a couple minutes for me to come back to my senses. The world stops spinning, I manage to sit up and I can breathe normally again.

Well. The disease is here to stay. It’s gonna hinder my life from here on out, and things will never be the same again. I can’t hide it forever. Someone’s gonna find out about it sooner or later. It’s a lose-lose situation. There’s no way out of it.

Maybe I should just swallow my fucking pride and surrender.


End file.
